when I was like 9 my neighbors asked me to watch their fish and cat while they went on vacation and I was like “lol k” and while they were gone tHE FUCKING FISH DIED so when they got home I apologized to the mom and she was just like “no need to apologize, I turned the filter off so they would die because they are too much work. You did nothing wrong” and she gave me 20 bucks and that is the story of my first contracted murder
One of the best “shut the fuck up”s I’ve seen
Bowser being a dad
Bowser is the best dad
bowser and mario actually settled their differences a long time ago and all the games with bowser’s kids are a game he sets up with the plumbers and the princess to keep all 7 or 8 of them active and engaged for an entire weekend because even the king of the koopas needs a hand sometimes wrangling all of them.
That’s why there’s never any blood, it’s all just playing tag and when you’re tagged you dramatically fall down.
peach spends her time “kidnapped” looking after the little ones and making sure they’re eating properly and doing a good job guarding their castles. once one is “defeated,” peach takes off to check in on the next one and bowser picks up his kid to come hang out back at the main castle and watch the rest of the adventure and eat some of the cake peach makes for the kids.
This is why you cant trust women, even when theyre mouth is closed theyre still lying to you
you do realize that this is really hurtful right?
i did not do this to show how i am ‘lying’ to men or anyone, it’s not about how you, as a man, should feel about it - it’s about myself.
to me your statement sounds as if the left side of this picture is something awful or horrible. and no, it’s not. it is my face - with and without makeup. and whether i chose to wear it or not is MY AND JUST MY decision. and when i do, i do it for myself - so that i feel good about myself - not for you.
Women aren’t born with makeup on, guy. Just like penises don’t circumcise themselves, and air conditioning isn’t ‘natural’. Makeup is no different than brushing your hair, or bubblegum. It’s elective. Although I have a sneaking suspicion that you’re not very loved by the ladies.
- Treat makeup-less women like shit for looking “less attractive”
- Pressure women to wear makeup in order to receive basic respect
- Treat women like malicious liars for wearing the makeup they were told they HAD to wear
"Maybe if you go to bed you’ll feel better in the morning" is literally just the human version of "Have you tried turning it off and back on again?"
what have you done
no new leaf screen shot can beat this. It’s fact.
things that make me laugh harder than they should:
gifs made with terrible stationary parts
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